02 May 08 Marketing Joke!
A Lesson In Marketing
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome - one has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David. Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none to the beggar behind the Star of David. Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, “My poor fellow, don’t you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you’re sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite.”
The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said: “Moishe, look who’s trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing.”
Popularity: 14%
18 Mar 08 Humor: Tips of a hi-end worker!
It’s dark when you drive to and from work.
You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
You learn about your layoff on CNN.
Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
Your supervisor hasn’t the ability to do your job assignment.
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries’ annual budgets combined.
Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
Being sick is defined as can’t walk or you’re in the hospital.
All real work gets started after 5pm or on weekends.
10% of the people you work with (boss included) — knows what they do.
Vacation is something you rollover to next year.
Your relatives and family describe your job as “works with computers” or “does something with satellites”
You read this entire list and understood it.
Popularity: 12%
09 Mar 08 Humor: Joke up yourself!
The Difference Between Optimism, Pessimism & Marketing
The Optimist says, “The glass is half full.”
The Pessimist says, “The glass is half empty.”
The Marketing Consultant says,
“Your glass needs re-sizing.”
It’s All in How You Look at It
A mother relayed this experience, “I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. I was so surprised to see she was stark naked. As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom! That lady isn’t wearing a seat belt’!”
Marketing moral: See? It’s all in the perspective. How do you look at your marketing problems?
Popularity: 5%
03 Mar 08 Humor: Joke up your director!
You definitely work in Marketing, if:
10. You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their look-to-buy ratio.
9. You get all excited when it’s Saturday so you can wear
casual clothes to work.
8. You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as “deliverables.”
7. You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.
6. You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.
5. You wear gray to work instead of navy blue to make a
bold fashion statement.
4. You know the people at the airport and hotel better
than your next door neighbors.
3. You ask your friends to “think out of the box” when making Friday night plans.
2. You think Einstein would have been more effective had he put his ideas into a matrix.
1. You think a “half-day” means leaving work at 5 o’clock.
Popularity: 4%
