Business Jokes 2009: Old Good Office Jokes
What’s the difference?
A man went to face an interviewer. Board of Directors asked him, “Tell the difference between “COMPLETE” and “FINISH”.
The man replied, I am clarifying with the example, “When u marry a right person you are “Complete” and when you marry the wrong one you are “Finish”.
Real Job Application
This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a Mcdonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida… And they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
Name: John Flower
Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
Desired position: Company’s president or vice president. But seriously, whatever available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
Desired salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a michael ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
Last position held: Target for middle management hostility.
Salary: Less than I’m worth.
What’s the secret of your success?
A very successful partner in a big firm had a peculiar habit. He would go to his desk everyday, open a locked drawer, look inside, lock the drawer again, and start his work. This continued for many days.
His subordinates knew that he hid the secret of his success in the drawer, they waited for the opportunity.
Then, one day when the partner had gone out of the city, the juniors decided to make a break.
They broke into the drawer, breathlessly, and looked inside. There was one small piece of paper inside – it said – “Left is debit and right is credit.”
Pay Your Tax
Income tax officer gave tips to a young lady, “You should pay your income tax with smile.”
The lady replied, “I have tried it thrice, but every time they insist on cash or cheque.”